Daily Dose 121- Every Toilet Is Marked - The Daily Dose Show
2025-09-03
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6ycq9ei630Owy5bQSbwwOT

This transcript was generated automatically. Its accuracy may vary. 0:17 New Shoes, Old Jokes, and Political Debates Thrasher. I just bought the new Taliban twos from the Afghan dudes. They're about to be my new go to shoes over there. My partner is Charles Chuck. Iron Fist. How you doing baby? 0:28 Speaker 2 Boom shakala. Wait. Boom boom boom shakalaka. 0:33 Speaker 1 Boom, Shakalaka. Yeah, we got, I got the, I got the new shoes on the way. Look at them. They're the they're the Taliban twos. They look good, don't they? They're white and they've got the red, green and yellow like the like the Talibans like. 0:45 Speaker 2 What what? What brand are those? 0:47 Speaker 1 Straight from Afghanistan? I have no idea. 0:49 Speaker 2 How much were they? 0:50 Speaker 1 100 bucks. 0:51 Speaker 2 Oh my, you paid $100 for no name blow up shoes? 0:56 Speaker 1 No, I needed new shoes anyway and I'm figuring they look like Jordans, but they're they're Taliban twos is what they are Taliban twos. So I figured I was like, fuck, man, they're an awesome looking shoe. They'll go with my outfit that's coming in today also. So I think it's going to look good. Last thing I need is the RPG and we need Sasha Barry Cohen to join in on the Taliban cowboy a script. 1:00. 1:12 Speaker 2 I'm sure he will. That's not even. There's no question he's going to want a piece of this. That's not even a question. 1:17 Speaker 1 Yeah, I've, I've been going through it in my head, like how we do it, you know, start off as a baby and I have like a mustache on the baby. Like when I was a baby, my mother used to tell me death to America, 'cause, you know, the the kids going to be Osama's son. You know, we figured that out yesterday that the can't. 1:30 Speaker 2 Be Osama's son 'cause we need him to have a, a reason to, to hate actual terrorists. So when he's like a baby, he's like four or five years old and he's like, you know, and there I was with my dad and we were playing catch. And he said, hold on, son, let me check my vest. 1:47 And he blew up right in front of me. And he just blows into pieces. And he's like, And that's what I knew I wanted to be a cowboy. Well. 1:54 Speaker 1 I was thinking Osama, son, because it'd be like, you know, if he was born right, right there, he was two years old at 2001. He'd be like 20 something now. And he would be like, you know, like I saw my father. What death to America he's like, But I love Americana. I love football. I love Mike Tyson, I love Muhammad Ali. 2:11 I love Georgia football. I love it all. I love it all. I love baseball and when they killed my father, I had no problem. I say OK, I met grandma's. I didn't know I'm here. So now I want to show Americans not all Talibans are bad. 2:26 Speaker 2 So he's changed his name, obviously. 2:28 Speaker 1 Yeah, I was saying his name is instead of Osama, it'd be Osama Amaso Amaso Osama backwards. 2:35 Speaker 2 What about Obama? 2:37 Speaker 1 Oh, it might get a little too political there. 2:39 Speaker 2 No, no, that because it's close to Osama and nobody will ever associate him with terrorists. His name's Obama. He's a Oh yeah. 2:45 Speaker 1 I saw Barack. We could be good buddies. We are from the same country. 2:50 Speaker 2 People don't. 2:51 Speaker 1 Don't know that he is actually from Afghanistan. Also, he is not American, but he fooled the Americans and he is American now. 2:59 Speaker 2 Don't people think that? Aren't there some people out there that actually think Obama is from another country or something like that? Isn't there like a birther thing or what? What's the What's the whole thing? 3:00 and I called them. 3:00. You went to your Airbnb. That's in the favelas over there. It's a little, a little ghetto. Y'all decide to walk about 10 miles. You got the security caught on you at the airport, which had Ted lost his phone somewhere along the way. 3:08 Speaker 1 That, well, he can't provide a birth certificate that shows that he was born in the US is the problem. That's what people are like. Well, where were you born at? How do you lose your birth certificate? You know, did your mother not care that much or were you really not born here? I think is the problem people have. 3:20 Speaker 2 So where do they think he's from? 3:22 Speaker 1 I think they think he's from like isn't. 3:25 Speaker 2 It like Kenya? Kenya. Is it Kenya? 3:27 Speaker 1 Kenya, yeah, it looks Kenyan, little Kenyan. And then obviously, obviously, obviously Michelle Obama, you know, they say he's a man. There's a lot of, there's a lot of backing to that. I can see why people would think she's a man. 3:41 Speaker 2 I don't see, I don't want to talk, I don't want to talk about that. I, I feel like that's a polarizing subject to talk about because there's a lot of people out there that will defend that. For instance, I did what I, what I told you I would do. We have a certain listener, not going to mention any names, Adam, but we have a certain listener that likes to post political stuff. 3:59 And I told him I said, hey, every time I see it, I'm just pulling the pen, dropping the grenade. It's slowly just backing out of your your Facebook post, right? So I did it today and I didn't even know it got crazy. Have you seen it? 4:14 Stirring the Pot and College Football Rivalries No, I, I saw your initial post, you like something like I'm glad you you support our president like I did. 4:21 Speaker 2 I didn't say like I do. I just said, I said, you're right, he's always winning or something like that. And it was, I mean, there was people that were like coming after me. And then the Trump people started defending me, and then they started attacking everybody. It was awesome. I just sat there and watched my work. 4:36 And it was like one of those moments where I just held my phone in front of me and I'm going to the bathroom. And I was like, you did good, Chuck. You did. Chuck's like, Oh yeah. 4:43 Speaker 1 I was about to Jack off of something else but I got this material now. I'm a comedian. Chuck posted it at 10 in the morning, texted it texted at like 4:54 Speaker 2 It is, you know, that's a really good feeling when you do that, when you drop a grenade or you stir the pot, There's nothing better on social media and people still don't understand what you're doing. 5:02 Speaker 1 It's called, it's a, it's got a term. It's called rage baiting. You ever heard of that? I'm sure your kid know. Kids know it. 5:07 Speaker 2 No. Is that what I'm doing? 5:09 Speaker 1 Yeah, you're rage baiting. So essentially, you know it's going to make someone rage and you try to bait them. So you you post something like that, like if you know area Ariana Grande posted something, you know, and it's like I was sexually assaulted. Be like, who would sexually assault her? You know that's rage. 5:24 Speaker 3 Baiting, you know, are you? 5:26 Speaker 1 Getting me that wouldn't even the point of the post. And she is also very beautiful. I would sexually assault her and you'd be like, wait a minute, did you say you sexually assault her? And it just gets all crazy. So it's professional rage baiting is what you're doing. 5:30 because practice is at six. And I just laid down and went to sleep. I was like, I'm such a loser. I'm sitting. And I was like, what am I going to do? It's 330I got two hours. And I was like, nap would be nice. 5:37 Speaker 2 I enjoy it. And just so you guys know, if anybody else posts anything, I mean, there's like, you know, all these Buckeye fans that listen to the show, If you really think I care that much about Michigan and I care that much about Ohio State losing, you're wrong. I don't. But it's fun to bait you and to put it on Facebook, and it's just fun to watch, so I'll continue to do it. 5:57 Speaker 1 Yeah, see, and I don't care either because look at the last time Georgia played Ohio State and the last time Georgia played Michigan, all right? We, we we just ain't fucking with that shit. We just taking them over. We just talking. 6:00 PM. Like why is my Facebook blowing up? 6:06 Speaker 2 About you guys, Ohio State won the national championship last year. Did you guys even make the play offs? 6:11 Speaker 1 We did, yeah. We, we fucked up Notre Dame, but the last time we played Ohio State, we beat them so and we went to the national championship. Then we beat TCU 65 to 10. I believe that's. 6:21 Speaker 2 Because Michael Pennix is 40 and that's not fair having a 40 year old out there playing with college kids. 6:27 Speaker 1 6:27 Speaker 1 No, that was Max Duggan. Nice try. Oh, wait. 6:30 Speaker 2 Who am I thinking? Who did Michael Pennix play for? Washington. Oh, and they they lost to somebody really bad. Michigan. Michigan. Yeah, yeah. 6:43 Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 6:45 Speaker 2 In that case, it was fair. In that case, it was fair. I'm sorry. 6:48 Speaker 1 Georgia's won 50% of the last four national championships. That's all you really need to know. 6:52 Coaching Kids, Anniversary Woes, and Solo Meals We got another late recording here going on. Chuck is at. He had baseball practice, but none of his children are in town. So you're just coaching other kids, right? 7:00 AM and drove them up there, dropped them off, came back they landed about 7:01 Speaker 2 Definitely felt like a pedophile tonight. Well, I I will say I will say this. I'm hurt and I'm going to air our dirty laundry on this, on this episode. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to do this. But it's the only way it can be done. So when I called you today, I don't know, 233 o'clock and I called you and you don't like this. 7:19 Hello. I said, hey, man, what's up? What are you doing? Nothing. I said, OK, well, you want what time you want to record? And you're like late, right? I said, well, I'm knocking back till 7:38 I'd hung up, dude. It hurt. It hurt a little bit. 7:43 Speaker 1 I'm sorry, I was in the middle of making a deal with, with the new caffeine pouch that, you know, making deals over here, doing deals. That's all I do all day now is just try to make new deals with new companies so that way I never have to go back to work in manual labor again. So I was doing that when he called me and I had hot shots going on in the background and I'm just like, all right, God, I'm like Chuck, I thought we already talked about this that we were recording late tonight. 8:00 and the update was well actually no. I talked to them about 5. They just got back to their Airbnb which they picked in the worst spot possible. They were next to the airport in the ghetto in the favelas. August scared the shit out of a damn old lady. 8:06 And then you just I guess you just wanted to check to make sure. Were you lonely? I I forget me. The family's not around. I'm sorry. I just I. 8:11 Speaker 2 Just. 8:12 Speaker 1 Ignore the fact that you have nobody in your life at the moment and I should have talked to you for at least 15 minutes. I'm. 8:17 Speaker 2 Very soft. You know what I you know what I did instead? 8:19 Speaker 1 Jacked off and cried no. 8:20 Speaker 2 Why is it always Jack off with you? No, that's. 8:23 Speaker 1 What I would do if I was home alone for a week. 8:25 Speaker 2 No, I no, I set my alarm for 8:30 and you're like, OK, Then 8:30, I said, well, what about now? Because I'm available. And you said no, no, not now. I said, OK, sounds like you don't want to talk and you go, yeah, OK, cool, I'll talk to you later. 8:41 So I just took a nap and that was it. And then I woke up. I went to the field and every freaking kid on the team, hey, where's Carter? Say he's in the Outer Banks. What's that? North Carolina? Why? He's on vacation. OK, Next kid gets in the cage. Hey, where's Carter? 8:56 My God, he's in North Carolina. Why Mike? He's on vacation. So by the last kid, where's Carter? Mike? He's on vacation. They're like, oh, OK, but I'm. But you're right. It, it feels weird when you don't have a kid on the team. I'm sitting there and I'm pitching to these boys and I'm like, good job, buddy, you know? And I'm like having all these motivational talks with them and I'm trying to talk him out of whatever funk they're in. 9:00. He said, hey, man, I'm like, what's up? He's like, dude, we tried to walk to downtown, you know, we tried to walk to the tourist district and apparently there's a lot of bridges and bays and everything and we ended up getting to the airport and he's like, you know, like at the airport sometimes we'll have like a sign in the grassy area. 9:15 And I'm like, this is what it feels like to be a pedophile, you know? 9:19 Speaker 1 You know what's funny though is like you woke up from your nap, you might have been a little groggy. You came to the field and like all the parents not might not know the situation. They might be like starting rumors like well as kids and wife's not here they must be having trouble or something. 9:30 Speaker 2 Well, you know that you know that's happening. But you know what? You know what the worst part is? And this is, this is bad. So I wake up from my nap OK, and Megan calls me and I answer the phone and she goes, so you haven't called me yet today. And I was like, OK. 9:46 And she goes, anything you want to say? I was like, uh, oh, sorry, you know, I'll call you more. And she goes, how about happy anniversary? Oh oh. 9:56 Speaker 1 She she went on vacation without you on your anniversary. 10:00 Speaker 2 That's why I didn't feel that bad 'cause I sat there and I said well, and I, I recovered very well actually, if I must say so myself. I said, well, I'm not going to celebrate our anniversary until Sunday when we're together and she's like, well, it's our anniversary. We didn't even say happy anniversary. 10:15 I said because it hurts too much. It just, it hurts too much to even think about not being with you on anniversary. And she felt bad. And I was like, thank God, dodge that bullet. 10:23 Speaker 1 Check away from us from a nap. He's got no shirt on, just underwear. Just making a baloney and Mayo sandwich. Like I'm just tore up about it. Megan, I just, I just can't believe it. You left me here all weekend. I've got to go toast these kids and our son's not there. People are going to be asking questions and I've got to tell them like I've been the last two hours. 10:40 Just mentally preparing myself for this practice. 10:43 Speaker 2 Yeah, I actually had two peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches for dinner. 10:46 Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. See that? That's a bachelor lifestyle. That's great it. 10:49 Speaker 2 You know, it's, it's, I mean, it's great, but it's kind of sad. 10:49 Speaker 2 You know, it's, it's, I mean, it's great, but it's kind of sad. Like there's nothing about this week that's been happy. I even, I took a new guy out with me today. Never worked before in his life. And he sold the $13,000 job. And I just sat there and looked at him and I'm like, what? 11:00. That would be about 5 hours later. 11:06 How does that even happen? Your first day to get the guy's like, man, I can do this for the rest of my life. I'm like, yeah, I bet that's never going to happen again. Don't get used to it, buddy. 11:14 Speaker 1 Have you since you've been at home alone, have you ordered any DoorDash or like delivery orders for food? Because I know you're not cooking. 11:21 Speaker 2 Oh no, I'm not cooking. I haven't cooked any. No, I take that back on Sunday I grilled a steak and I I went to Publix and bought all my sides. 11:29 Speaker 1 I was about to say, right now where you cook sides, you probably just had a piece of steak. That was it. 11:33 Speaker 2 No, I had steak but I bought like 3 little baby sides and I had a nice meal. And then since then, it's been a pretty steady diet of cereal, peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches. And I might have had a can of Wendy's chili. 11:49 Speaker 1 A can you can buy that like a full Yeah. 11:52 Speaker 2 You can buy it, yeah. 11:53 Speaker 1 Dude, I was upstairs the other night and I, I think I just got done recording with you and I go upstairs and like the whole kitchen smoked out every time Wood said Ted cooks. I don't know if it's just cooking or a fan doesn't work, but the whole house gets smoked out and I go upstairs. I'm like, what kind of meat are you cooking? He's like Wendy's like what you can buy like Wendy's patties apparently like frozen at the grocery store. 12:00 earlier today and they just woke up and they're about to go make their trek to find Matthew's phone on the side of the Interstate. 12:00 earlier on Tuesday and y'all were about to go out to eat and you're going to or you're going to find which had Ted's phone first and then y'all were going to go to eat. So I don't know anything after that. Where are you? Where are you at now and how'd the day go? 12:13 They're cooking the he's cooking 8 of them. Oh my God. 12:17 Speaker 2 In the kitchen, yeah. 12:19 Speaker 1 On the skillet, dude. 12:20 Speaker 2 Oh my God, how much grease is probably in those things? 12:23 Speaker 1 Oh, dude, it's everywhere. All over the all over the range in the stove top. But I don't cook, so I ain't. I ain't worried about it, you know? 12:29 Speaker 2 So how do you eat? What do you eat? 12:31 Speaker 1 Door to I I I eat once a day and I just DoorDash it, Uber eats it. 12:35 Speaker 2 You eat once a day, Yeah. 12:37 Speaker 1 Yeah, just DoorDash, Uber Eats. 12:39 Speaker 2 It's not really good for you man. You're supposed to eat 3 balanced meals. 12:42 Speaker 1 I don't think so. That's a lie that the the breakfast companies came up with with back in the 60s. Like bran, Raisin bran. That's good for you. There ain't nothing good about it for you. Nothing about cereal is good for you. They just made that up so they could sell more cereal and more food in the morning. 12:56 Speaker 2 Well, I don't think cereal makes you fat though. 12:59 Speaker 1 It's loaded with fucking sugar and has no nutrients. It just makes you tired after a while. 13:03 Speaker 2 It does make me tired. Yeah. And it doesn't fill you up. Like if you eat it an hour later, you're starving. It's like rice. 13:11 Speaker 1 Yeah, I I I eat a lot of rice, though. I eat Chipotle lot. Chipotle's good. Good for me. I like that. It's good fun. Tastes good. Yeah. Nice. The question I was going to ask, I'm glad your wife called you because I was going to ask, has your family checked up on you, have the kids called in and be like, how's Dad doing? What's Dad doing, Savannah? 13:27 Speaker 2 Savannah's been Facetiming me two times a day. She just calls to tell me nonsense. You know, like Carter, I guess They were playing outside on the beach. Have you ever been to a beach that has? I don't know what they're called. They're like little balls that are just covered in thorns. 13:43 Like stickers. Yeah. Like stickers or briars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I guess the Outer Banks just has them everywhere in the, not the, not the sand necessarily, but in like the drifts where there's like there's a little bit of weeds and stuff. So we had bought these things in Hawaii that you take and you shoot them up in the air and they light up and they're like little helicopters. 14:03 They're really cool to play with. Well, they bought those and they'd taken them to the Outer Banks, so they were shooting them up in the air. Well, Savannah shot one up in the air and went flying over into the, you know, like drift, not the sand. So she's like, Carter, go get it. So Carter goes running over there. 14:19 I guess he stepped in a bed of these things. So his entire foot got covered in these little pickers and briars. So he drops like a sack of potatoes, right? He just drops to the ground, starts screaming his head off. Well, nobody can go get him 'cause he's in like a minefield, right? 14:37 So he's just laying there crawl. 14:38 Speaker 3 Out. Oh, crawl out. 14:42 Speaker 2 So my so my daughter puts on her sandals, goes and grabs him and like drags him out of the area by his foot. Well, now he's getting, he's picking him up all over his back, all over his arms. So they sent me a video last night. 14:57 And as they're videotaping my, my oldest Facetimes me, my son's laying on the ground with both his feet up in the air and they're picking him out with tweezers and he's screaming his head off like he's having major surgery done. And my daughter's like, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. 15:14 And Carter's like, please stop it. It hurts so bad. I was like, that's great. So yeah, they've, they've been, they've been staying in touch with me. You know, they've been checking up on me. It's it's just a weird life. It's just a weird life. 15:26 Speaker 1 Yeah, this would be the life of you lived if, like, you got divorced and Megan took the kids, you know, like she just gives you the house. You know, she's kind of. 15:32 Speaker 2 Like, I don't, I don't like it cause 'cause at least if that happened, I would have somebody, OK? I don't wanna, I don't wanna sound like a bad person, but if she did leave me and took the kids, I promise you I would not be here alone. 15:48 Yeah, I'm coming out. No, shut up. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? 15:52 Speaker 1 Good, good old hooker. Hooker. 15:54 Speaker 2 I wouldn't get. Yeah, Hooker. Neil's like, hey, man, I'm taking you to Ecuador, OK? I know just what'll make you smile. I'm not. I'm not going to Ecuador. I don't need to go there for that. I I feel like you don't have to get a prostitute nowadays. You just get on, I don't know one of these acts. 16:10 Speaker 1 But like man, look, the Mecca door women, they have kids twice as fast as these white women. You'll have a brand new family and a year and a half if you just, we'll get you 2 girls, a boy. You know, it'd be exactly how you had it. You never fucking think about it again. You'd be good to go, man. 16:23 Speaker 2 Be good to go. I wouldn't do I can't, I can't do I can't do prostitutes, But but I would definitely have a friend here and it would be, you know, I just don't, I don't like being alone. Not you. I you're you're Moody. 16:34 Speaker 1 No, I'm not. If I was there at the house and we were drinking and not planning on doing stuff, nothing at all, then I'd be like, chill, you know, like you want to smoke weed and drink some beer. And if you say hell yeah, but all right, watch football and baseball and we'll just go into different bathrooms and Jack off. 16:49 Speaker 2 Why do you always go back to that? 16:53 Speaker 1 It's what you do when you're home alone, you know? 16:56 Speaker 2 I I don't understand why you're so infatuated with that. 16:58 Speaker 1 I'm not infatuated, it's just what you do when you're 26. 17:01 Speaker 2 How many times do you do it a day? 17:03 Speaker 1 I try to get it about four. 17:05 Speaker 2 No. 17:09 Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no. But it's, it's, I think it's pretty healthy to do about like once a day or at least every other day. 17:15 Speaker 2 So wait a minute, if if, if you're looking at porn, pornography, right? Isn't there a law in Georgia where you have to like age verification to look at anything like that online? 17:25 Speaker 1 Not on Reddit. 17:27 Speaker 2 Oh, so you just go to Reddit? 17:29 Speaker 1 Yeah, you can look up some crazy categories on there too. 17:34 Speaker 2 I don't. Oh God. You know my question. I don't want to ask what. 17:37 Speaker 3 Categories. 17:38 Speaker 2 Yeah. What categories? 17:40 Speaker 1 There's lickety slit, that's a good one. You're in the Asians. There's rice cakes. 17:47 Speaker 2 Shut up. 17:49 Speaker 1 There's there's risky porn. That's a good one and. 17:51 Speaker 2 Then are these, are these like what are these? What is What is risky porn? 17:56 Speaker 1 Like people doing shit in public or just like flashing in public or masturbating in public. 18:00 Speaker 2 So they don't, yeah, you're like that guy's hog. So you don't. So you don't have like like BBC or or BBW or? 18:11 Speaker 1 I don't like either one of those big black cock or black big black women. I don't like either one. 18:14 Speaker 2 Of them. Oh is that what BBB? I didn't know what BBW meant. 18:17 Speaker 1 I kept driving it in, a bunch of cocks kept showing. 18:19 Speaker 2 Up. I don't know. So wait, so Reddit I've so I've never been on Reddit like that. I I go on Reddit to like, you know, hey, top ten, you know, stupid XY and Z and I just do. I use it for what the Chuck sometimes, but I didn't know there was a pornography section of Reddit. 18:36 Speaker 1 Yeah, you should try typing in like top ten Asian pussies and you'll be like Oh my God what is wrong with top 10 middle-aged MILF the vagina. Probably see some of your friends on there. 18:48 Speaker 2 Why do you why do you look? Why do you look at pictures? What year is it? 18:51 Speaker 1 Well, it's, I mean, it's just the, IT comes up as videos obviously it's that's just the the subsection you look up. 18:57 Speaker 2 So when you, when you do that kind of stuff and you're trying to like get in the in the in the mood, you're just looking at a naked girl. You're not looking in like, you know, like sex or anything like that. You just look at like a woman. 19:08 Speaker 1 Yeah, you're usually like riding like a dildo or masturbating. Oh. 19:12 Speaker 2 My God, Brandon, what is wrong with you? So you, you, you do this a lot. 19:21 Speaker 1 I did it right before we got started. I'm probably going to do it during the middle of the show too, man. 19:26 Speaker 2 I. 19:26 Speaker 1 Can't, I can't. Got to check in and see if there's any new post, you know? Stay up top on top of it. 19:31 Speaker 2 So weird but so why is Reddit not requiring an age verification? How are they getting around that in the state of Georgia? 19:36 Speaker 1 I don't know, dude. Whenever I come over again, I'll show you. I'll show you how to do it. 19:39 Speaker 2 No, I don't want, you know, that's what they back back in my day, back early, early on, the only dirty movies out there were on VHS. So there was like this long running verified. 19:51 Speaker 1 Home Services. 19:53 Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. Verified home services and the other types. 19:55 Speaker 1 Of foreign company. 19:56 Speaker 2 Used to be, used to be, but now they can take care of all your needs if you just give them a call and every estimate you get for any work you need around your house, they get $50 just for hooking you up with that person. So they should call the number which is. 20:10 Speaker 1 But it is. 20:11 Speaker 2 Oh my God. 20:12 Speaker 1 I bet Chuck would know it if he cared enough to like, remember, memorize it, you know? But he don't even know it 'cause he does, does not even care at all, you know? Like, I care, so I know it, but I don't think Chuck cares enough. I mean, you wouldn't even give it a shot, would you? 20:28 Speaker 2 Four O 4. 20:29 Speaker 1 No wrong 678-304-7532 Verified home services used to do porn, now they do all your home services 678-304-7532. 20:38 Speaker 2 I got the O 4 right. But anyway, back then you would like borrow people's buddies or borrow, Oh my God. 20:44 Speaker 1 Buddies. Oh wow. 20:45 Speaker 2 No, no, shut up, shut up. I missed Borrow People's videos and I remember the first one I borrowed was the one that my buddy got caught watching which was Weapons of mass destruction. 20:57 Speaker 3 Which? 20:57 Speaker 2 Which was? Which was which was right after 9/11 0. 21:01 Speaker 1 I'm sure. Yeah, Saddam Hussein. 21:01 Speaker 1 I'm sure. Yeah, Saddam Hussein. And they're like getting railed. 21:04 Speaker 2 Somebody, somebody took full advantage of the whole weapons of mass destruction and they were like, wait a minute, it's the perfect title for a porn. So anyway, we, I borrowed my buddy's video because we were at work and he's like, dude, you guys got to see this. It's so good. Well, the crazy thing is when you would borrow somebody's VHS and you'd put it in the VCR and you'd hit play as soon as it started, you would know. 21:27 Speaker 1 That's right where they ended. 21:28 Speaker 2 That's like, this is so gross. 21:32 Speaker 1 But damn. Oh, my buddy Josh is busting right here. 21:34 Speaker 2 Dude. And if you look at and some of them, you'd laugh because it would be like a scene that maybe you're like, wait, how's that? Like why? Why this? You know, it'd be like a girl. I remember in that video specifically, there was a girl that was locked in a like a large bird cage and she was covered. 21:51 She had a latex outfit on and her latex outfit had, I want to say she had like a beak or something attached to the outfit but it was crotchless. And I remember when I played it after one of my buddies had it, it just started at that scene with her in the bird cage in this latex outfit with a beak. 22:10 And I remember like what? 22:12 Speaker 1 She's like leaking cum. 22:14 Speaker 2 No, she's just like like like laying there, like licking the bars and stuff, like doing whatever she does. But I was like, this is how is this hot to somebody? So I guess, you know, it's each their own. But but yeah, that's my, that's my VHS porn story. I don't have it. You don't have to worry about that nowadays because you guys don't have to share porn like we did. 22:29 Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. We don't do that anymore. But glad, glad that experience was brought up. I'm glad. 22:35 Speaker 2 I'm glad you're. I'm glad your serial masturbation experiences are brought up. I didn't know that you were a serial wackaholic. 22:43 Speaker 1 Ever since I watched Wolf of Wall Street, Matthew McConaughey told me in there that you got to Jack off like 3 * a day to keep your mind right. I'm like, I don't know if I can do three, brother, but I'll, I'll try to get up to your numbers. And then I see him on the side of Texas sidelines and I see, I'll see him crank one out every now and then. 22:58 You know he's paying over Matthew McConaughey. If he's turned around, you know he's cranking one out. He's jacking off in Bevo's mouth. 23:06 Speaker 2 Who's Bevo? 23:07 Speaker 1 That's the that's their mascot, the bull. They have Longhorn. 23:10 Def August and Ted's Island Misadventures Yeah, well, before we get in daily dose of dumb news, my homeboys, oh Def August and Woodshed Ted are in Puerto Rico. I decided to not go on this trip after some incidences that I thought would not be good for my time in life. 23:28 Things seem to be going good and I didn't want to jeopardize anything with that. 23:28 Things seem to be going good and I didn't want to jeopardize anything with that. So they're there. I took them to the airport Monday morning about I got up at about 23:45 Checked in about 24:01 He popped over the fence and said hey. 24:03 Speaker 2 Yeah, we're we're new here. 24:05 Speaker 1 Scared the shit out of her. She was taking her trash out. And apparently on the other side of them, they have a few 20 year olds, a couple of them like him, a couple of them pretty much hate him. I think I was like, well, let's just not mingle with him at all. So I was like, all right, I'm, I'm a check in with you at 24:21 Well, they called me at 24:38 I'm like, yeah, he's like, well, we went over there and we stood on it to see if we could get like a lookout to see where we needed to go. He's like, you know, like 5 minutes later, a bunch of security pulled up, was about to arrest us. I'm like, great, cool. So they talked the security out of it, saying they were just lost, they didn't know where to go. 24:55 And I asked him. I was like, why the why the fuck did y'all not take an Uber? He's like, man, it's weird, man. My my phone, it only makes phone calls. I ain't got no Internet. He's like, but this time they got back to the hotel or the Airbnb and I'm like, what? Why? It's like if you tried Matthew's phone, he's like, no man, he'll already lost his phone. 25:12 They already lost we. 25:14 Speaker 3 Had her we. 25:15 Speaker 1 Had her buddy Justin check his location and his phone's on the side of this freeway somewhere. They're supposed to go walk another 10 miles a day to get it. But I was talking to Def August. I'm like, they were hammered, dude. They I mean, they, they got tore up on the plane. Matthew lost his phone to six hours in the country. He already lost his phone. 25:31 Their Airbnb has no AC, has one TV, has no Internet at all there. And I asked someone was like, dude, did you turn like roaming on on your phone? He's like, what's that man? I was like, that's how you get like access when you're in different countries to Internet. So he turns it on and he's on the phone with me. 25:47 He's like, Oh my God, no, I'm getting everything. It's like Snapchat, you're coming through Facebook messages, Instagram, everything's loading, man. I was like, I'm about to just play on my phone. Like we're gonna go, we're gonna go try to get Matthew's phone tomorrow. We're gonna go get some breakfast and whatnot and we'll hang out. So I called him at a 26:08 It had not moved, which means it either got smashed to a million pieces or it's dead on the side of the road. Like no one else picked it up and charged it, or else they would show us a new location. So it's dead on the side of the road. I have no idea. Is this how you how you imagine the trip would go, Charles? 26:22 Speaker 2 Yeah, actually, right on, right on, right on target where I thought it would go. Now, if they're close to the airport, you know what they're very close to and you got to tell them to go. 26:32 Speaker 1 What? 26:33 Speaker 2 Cock fighting arena. 26:35 Speaker 1 Oh, it's got to be close. They're on the South side of the airport, like the southwest corner of the airport. 26:39 Speaker 2 Yeah. So if they're if they can see the airport, they can walk to cock fighting. So they need to get online and see what time the cock fights kick off and they got to go do that. Got to go. 26:50 Speaker 1 We'll get, we'll give them a call and we'll see how things are going down here. And you know Puerto Rico better than I do. So just we'll just give him a little rundown. I got to let him know he's on the podcast where he says something crazy right here. 27:02 Drunken Calls and Questionable New Friends And then what's? 27:02 Speaker 1 Up def August man. 27:02 Speaker 1 Up def August man. It's it's Brandon. Chuck you're live on the daily dose show man. How y'all doing down there? 27:09 Speaker 3 Oh God, I'd like to call you though shit. You know, I would like to say that it's going pretty well, but it's kind of minimal iffy today. Well, but we, we just ask questions. 27:27 Speaker 1 Yeah, we, we, we ran the listeners down a second ago. We told them how how yesterday started you, you got in the country about 27:45 And then I think I talked to you about 28:02 Speaker 3 So I'm right now I'm on the front porch on me, another Medallia that's a local beer, trying to take my Nicole show. It's pretty fucking good. It's dark, I'm on the front porch. I'm awaiting on a new friend that I made. He's going to Take Me Out tonight. 28:18 Unfortunately, we did not find woodshed Ted's phone. And on top of that, we did go to the beach today and which had Ted drink a whole bottle of vodka. And you know, intern Brandon can attest to how that probably went, which had tend to sweet, which after a freaking, you know, Battle of the Alamo, I guess you can call it. 28:49 I mean, it's been a it's been a rough one, honestly, it's been a rough afternoon. But you know what it's talking to this my birthday week. I'm like nearly a junkie. He was. So I'm sitting out and go on my new friend and you know. 29:05 Speaker 2 So wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Please let me, Brandon, please give me this one. Your new friend. Have you ever heard the story of Natalie Holloway? 29:18 Speaker 3 Never have I ever. 29:20 Speaker 2 All right, so Natalie Holloway was she was a young lady that was in Aruba and there was a guy that wanted to take her out to a bar and show her the town. And that was many, many, many years ago. And to this day, her body's never been found. But the young man was convicted in Amsterdam after he lured another woman to his home and chopped her into a million pieces. 29:41 So. 29:42 Speaker 3 Damn. 29:43 Speaker 2 My question is the the the new friend you met, does he have a name? 29:51 Speaker 3 He did tell us that I forgot. Wait. 29:55 Speaker 1 Where, where did where, where did y'all meet this man at? And what was your level of intoxicated when you met this man? 30:01 Speaker 3 We are fairly drunk and he pointed it's been a good way to get some drugs. 30:01 Speaker 3 We are fairly drunk and he pointed it's been a good way to get some drugs. And yeah, I just told him, hey man, I'm trying to hang out, trying to get out. And you see the night wise so well, I don't have AI, don't have a vagina. 30:16 So he's not like, you know, trying to get in me or nothing. But yeah, he played channel. 30:21 Speaker 2 I don't know if this guy wants a vagina is the problem. 30:24 Speaker 1 You got you got a butt hole and you got organs. I would definitely be careful because look, I got I got the guy that I got a there's a couple of listeners that they live in Puerto Rico. I can send you their Instagram information if you want me to just to. 30:36 Speaker 3 Say like, yeah. 30:37 Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll send you, I'll send you the information. So y'all you, you made it. So did you. You tried to go and find Woodshed Ted's phone on the side of the Interstate earlier, correct? 30:48 Speaker 3 Yeah. And I think it just ended up being the location that Justin told us was like exactly where the phone died because we went. We were on the side of the Expressway and, you know, we searched and searched and we're skipping through broken glass, CC, all kinds of garbage. 31:08 And, you know, like, you know, like when you go to like a farm and they've been like doing a bunch of land clearing it, but there's still a bunch of like, sapling stumps and shit. Yeah. You know, sapling is like a small tree. Small tree. Yes. Well, when they just clip it and they just leave the stop there, but it's a minefield. 31:27 I mean, you talking me and Matthew. 31:27 I mean, you talking me and Matthew. Excuse me. Me and which had 10 Burks and in the dark, intoxicated. 31:39 Speaker 1 Y'all are both. Y'all are both walking around in Birks in a fucking damn freshly cut tree field. 31:47 Speaker 3 Hell yeah. No, no, not even a field. Dude, It was a, it was a like a, a freaking, you know, bitch. We're walking on an incline, bitch. 31:56 Speaker 1 And they, they, they've got the spikes sticking up like here in Vietnam, right? Like the booby trap? 32:00 Speaker 3 Yes, that's what I thought. Yes, right. 32:07 Speaker 1 So so you you you walk to to try to find Woodshed Ted's phone again. You realize it's not in that area. What do y'all do after that? You walk back to the Airbnb? Or do you get an Uber there on the side of the freeway? 32:18 Speaker 3 We went to a local supermarket or actually no, I'm trying Food Shed Ted to ready with local bakery and I bought fish. It was good up until three bites. We've got like rice, rice and some sketchy meat and kind of chewy. 32:37 And then I got a plantain and I got like this dessert thing. It was kind of like an apple turnover, but it was like the stickiest shit I have ever put in my mouth. Like, I took a couple bites out of this thing and the apple do you? 32:53 I mean, it was like rubber cement on my teeth. 32:53 I mean, it was like rubber cement on my teeth. So I quit eating that. And yeah, we got out of there. And after that, you actually ate at the local bakery. What bakery? 33:06 Speaker 1 What about what about what time was that that you ate at the local bakery on Tuesday? 33:11 Speaker 3 That was like 33:13 Speaker 1 OK. And where do you go from there? 33:17 Speaker 3 We went back to the Expressway in the daylight and kind of backtrack where we hiked and no luck. So we gave up. We came back to the that's when we went back to the the bakery area. 33:34 We went to a supermarket. I bought like a much baloney. Oh yeah, I I know this is random, but I bought Maloney and he bought hot dogs. And then I realized like, dude, a hot dog or baloney is just a a flat hot dog which I haven't realized. 33:47 Speaker 1 Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, a good, good observation. 33:49 Speaker 2 While you're there, I'm glad. Death of August, man, Have you? Have you tried the MO Fungo yet? 33:55 Speaker 3 I haven't even heard that word, but I'm. 33:57 Speaker 2 Going to MO MO fungo is the the Puerto Ricans. It is their signature dish. Chicken mofongo is amazing. Make sure you get that. And then also, if you guys went to that grocery, if you guys went to that grocery store, I think I know it's one you guys went to. 34:12 Was it kind of like a supermarket? 34:15 Speaker 3 And it's called Supermax. Yeah, Airport. 34:17 Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, it was in the airport property or right next to the airport? 34:21 Speaker 3 Yeah, he's right below the ascog property. 34:24 Speaker 2 OK, yes. So did you see the cock fighting arena? Cock fighting like like like like chicken like chicken chicken fighting. Oh. 34:36 Speaker 3 No, no, I deny it. 34:38 Speaker 2 There is a huge chicken fighting arena about 1/4 mile from the supermax. No way. And dude, you can probably walk. You've got to go to, you've got to go to it. You can bet on it. It is intense and it is completely legal. And they hate white people there. 34:54 But I'm guessing that if you're if you have a new friend, is he Puerto Rican, the guy that you hooked up with? 35:00 Speaker 3 He's actually like a ginger Puerto Rican. It's the weirdest thing. 35:00 Speaker 3 He's actually like a ginger Puerto Rican. It's the weirdest thing. Oh. 35:03 Speaker 2 Dude, you're so good. He's so. 35:07 Speaker 3 Good. He's got a red beard, he's got a red beard, he's driving a sea of soul and he's got a a very furry steering wheel cover. It's just odd as fuck to me. 35:16 Speaker 1 Oh God, he's a gay ginger Puerto Rican. That's not good. And you're going out there by yourself and you're leaving a woodshed, Ted at the house with no phone, dude. 35:25 Speaker 3 No woodshed in here. Which shit Ted will be? I mean, which shit Ted? Can't go anywhere with me right now. 35:34 Speaker 1 I can see exactly I can see how this happens right now because it's already light that we're talking to you because we're in the same time zone. I can see you leaving which yet Ted wakes up. He's like, where the fuck is def August? And he's like, fuck it, I'm going to go find something to do. And he's just going to I'm. 35:48 Speaker 2 Going to go find my phone on the freeway this time indeed. 35:51 Speaker 3 Here we go. Yeah. You know, Manny knows how it is. You know, when a whole bottle goes down. There is absolutely Vevo reasoning with Witchet 10. I mean, yeah. And also, I'm not even definitely like, I love Witchet 10/2 there, but you got to know when to fold them. 36:11 You got to know when to walk away. And I mean, I just. That's all I can do. I know. Fuck. 36:15 Speaker 2 I like, I like how Def August is the one giving advice and he's like hold on guys. Oh Nope, my gay ginger Puerto Rican's not here to get me yet. 36:22 Speaker 1 Keep going. 36:23 Speaker 2 Keep asking questions. 36:25 Speaker 1 So y'all y'all get back to the Airbnb and do y'all find like tourist civilization at any point today or did y'all just just wander around? 36:34 Speaker 3 No, we today we, what did we do? What did we do? So we were actually gave up on looking for a * and we went to the beach. Alright, so look, I booked A2 bedroom Airbnb. We get here and three dudes are in. 36:54 I didn't know that this is a duplex first of all. So the other bedroom is being occupied by somebody else. So it's just a one bedroom, 1 couch, no AC once. I mean, yeah, it's just pretty skimpy. There's tile on every surface of everything, tile everywhere. 37:14 And so like, yeah, we, we give up on look for the phone to get back, like, alright, let's show the beach. We get a $3 Uber to the beach. Oh, Oh yeah, that's what I'm getting at. The guys that were in the other half of the Dew point, when I woke up, they left us a full bottle of cranberry juice and a half a bottle of John Julio as we. 37:36 Yeah. So I actually came back from the supermarket which shed Ted bought himself a $7.00 bottle of vodka and he combined that with the black rum Jazoo. And then we went out to the beach, me and we shed Tedder on the beach. 37:53 He is when we get out of the water and we have. I had the Michelob. He had the Michelob and I killed that thing. I killed back to the beach. I'm like, you know what, I'm just saying I took a nap on the beach. That's what's like 2 hours in the bare sand. 38:09 They were like birds, like all over me and shit. 38:11 Speaker 1 Like a damn like a damn mother sea turtle about to give birth up, probably. 38:15 Speaker 2 I probably thought he was dead. Like, hey, look at that guy, he died. That's cool. It's Puerto Rico. 38:19 Speaker 3 Yeah, no, I, I look like a very, I look like a quintessential beat from. I mean there was like 3 separate occasion I had to like shoe off some pige and there was like on my belly or something so. 38:31 Speaker 2 So, so August, I got my last question because this is I think all the listeners really want to know this this Airbnb that you booked, how much are you paying a night for this palace? 38:43 Speaker 3 We're looking at like $100 a night, dude. I don't know if I'd get a bad, but you know. 38:48 Speaker 2 38:48 Speaker 2 That's actually not bad, I would expect something a little nicer for 100 bucks a night. 38:53 Speaker 3 I mean, I'll take some videos. It's, it's really nice. I mean, anywhere else it's pretty shit though, I thought I could say. 39:04 Speaker 1 Everything around us is fucking terrible and on fire and smells like shit and there's. 39:09 Speaker 3 I just spent the last 20 minutes trying to entice a random dog to come up to our porch, but he wouldn't probably. 39:15 Speaker 1 Got AIDS? I wouldn't play with that dog. 39:19 Speaker 3 No, I mean, but then again, like it's weird because I feel like this neighborhoods like low income, but it's still like working fast. It's like I think a rap for there's a, there's a guy, our neighbor is like a Caterpillar mechanic. He's got his work van out front. 39:35 There's like a little amphitheater. Like I'm looking at it right now on the front porch. You know, keep thinking about like in a movie when there's like a a band of like Mexican playing the guitar and the trumpet and shit. Yeah, this, this is their, this would be their small amphitheater. 39:50 And I'm looking right at it. This is our this is our landmark. Like we've been lost a few times, but we've seen this red brick amphitheater and we know we're we're home so. 40:01 Speaker 1 Well, hell yeah. Well, look, y'all, y'all be safe, be be good with the the gay ginger Puerto Rican guy. Did he say where he's taking you to? 40:11 Speaker 3 I just told him that I want to get out of the house and I want to go to the nightlife. So he's like, oh dude, I got you. I'll see you soon. I'll see you in about 30 minutes. 40:18 Speaker 1 You need to make sure your phone's charged and send your location to Justin. So that way if if it goes dark, we can be like, all right, well, this is where August died. 40:26 Speaker 3 Sounds good, I'll do that all. 40:27 Speaker 1 Right, brother. Well, we're going to let you go, and we'll probably check in with you tomorrow to make sure you're still alive and see what kind of fun adventures you and which had Ted had for the day on Wednesday. 40:36 Speaker 3 Oh yeah, we'll be a Chet. We'll see you man all. 40:38 Speaker 1 Right. See you then. Appreciate it. Bye. 40:40 Speaker 3 Bye bye. 40:41 Speaker 2 Dude, you're never, you're never going to talk to him again. 40:44 Speaker 1 That's so sad. That's why I got to call him now, to make sure everything's OK, just kind of check in, you know? 40:47 Speaker 2 That's, and he's just, he just makes bad decisions. I mean, the last thing you want to do is a, a rent. OK, OK. If you were like, OK, you're you. Let's say you live where you live and you meet a tourist from Puerto Rico and they're in Newnan and you guys are, you're at your Cavallis, right? 41:06 And you're having some drinks, you're having some dinner. And one of them, one of the Puerto Ricans, are just hammered. Would you walk up to the other Puerto Rican and be like, hey, where are you guys staying? And he's going to be like, oh, I'm standing here in Newnan. Would you be like, hey, dude, I'm going to come pick you up tonight and take you out. 41:21 Would you do that? 41:22 Speaker 1 No, that's the problem is I wouldn't pick up another dude that's I think the dude's gay and I'm worried August might get like butt raped or something. 41:29 Speaker 2 I think something's going to happen to him because there's no guy that does that unless he's picked. And didn't he say that he's he's the guy that he asked for drugs? 41:36 Speaker 1 It might have been, it might have been. So I, I have no ideas, 'cause like I said, I had when we were originally planning this trip, I was going to go down with him. Then I'm like, look, y'all are just too wild at the moment. I can just not, I can't do it because I, I can't get involved with this 'cause I knew it'd be like this. And I'm like, last thing I need is get in trouble in Puerto Rico and go to jail down there or miss my flight because we get a hurricane. 41:56 So I'm hoping, hoping everything goes well. We'll have to check in with him tomorrow and see. I guess we'll just check in every day with him to see how it's going and see if they're still alive. Woodshed Ted's tore up. And that's kind of how I figured it'd be. But yeah, it's crazy. It's always his birthday week this week. 42:12 So y'all wish him a happy birthday. And we've also got another birthday. Tony Cannon. I got you. I remembered it. I know we're 42 minutes into the episode, but happy birthday to his wife, Savannah Cannon. Isn't that an awesome name? Savannah Cannon. 42:24 Speaker 2 That is a good name. And she's not black either. It's weird, yeah. 42:28 Speaker 1 Yeah, I wonder if she looks like like I I don't know if she was at the event or not. She might have been at the event. I can't remember. I know Tony was he looked like Hank Williams Junior, if y'all remember him there. He. 42:36 Speaker 2 Looks like Willie Robertson. 42:37 Speaker 1 Oh, Willie Robertson, whatever, but his wife got a birthday today. Savannah Cannon, happy birthday. We appreciate y'all listening. So y'all we'll have def August sending send us in some pictures and we'll get him posted some videos of their little favela that they're living at doesn't. 42:54 Speaker 2 Sound Why do you keep? Why do you keep saying that word? 42:56 Speaker 1 Favela. 42:57 Speaker 2 Yeah. 42:58 Speaker 1 It means shitty house in a foreign country is what it means. 43:00 Speaker 2 How long? 43:00 Speaker 2 How long? How long did it take you to learn that? 43:03 Speaker 1 I've known it since I was about 2009. There was a very popular multiplayer map on Modern Warfare 2 called Favela Oh. 43:10 Speaker 2 My God. 43:11 The Cost of Love Without a Prenup Yep. So, all right, we'll go ahead and get into daily DOS. Adam. 43:16 Speaker 2 News. That's your daily 43:40 Speaker 1 Kita Vaccaro has walked away from her 17 month marriage to Dolphins wide receiver Tyree Kill with a monthly divorce settlement. So Tyreek Hill, you know, the superstar who won a Super Bowl with the Kansas City Chiefs. 43:56 He's now in the Miami Dolphins. He's got like 9 kids. He's got a lot of baby Mamas. He's always in the news for something. But his everyone tried to tell him this new wife, this new girlfriend was not good, not a good idea. You need to sign a prenup. She's going to divorce you. He's like, no, she's the one. She's the 117 months later, they are divorced. 44:13 She is 28 years old. Hill is 31. Can you imagine what she got? Or can you guess what she got into the the divorce, Chuck? 44:22 Speaker 2 44:22 Speaker 2 The only divorce that I know about from a celebrity is when Owen Wilson split up with my friend Jade and I know how much she was getting because he had to provide her a home in Malibu. 44:33 Speaker 1 He met her on the plane, right? 44:34 Speaker 2 Yep, and he had to. He bought her a home in Malibu and he had to provide her $40,000 a month OR. 44:41 Speaker 1 Is this, is this girl ever going to come on the show to talk about this or no? 44:44 Speaker 2 I doubt it, dude. She's, she's, she's living the right life right now. She's got, she's got it all going for her. But I'm saying, is Tyreke Hill worth more than Owen Wilson? I'm going to say yes. So I'm going to say $200,000 a month. 45:04 Speaker 1 So she got a 500K lump sum she's getting. This is what I don't understand. Like this is a big range. 20 to 50 KA month in monthly spending. 100K for a new car, 450K for legal fees and exclusive use of their five and a half million dollar Miami mansion. 45:24 Tyreek remains responsible for the mortgage, utilities and insurance at at the the residencies that his ex-wife occupies. And this shit, to me, it just it blows my mind like, like how, how's the legal system set up like this where this man has clearly made all the money. 45:41 He's clearly done all the work. She's done absolutely nothing except for open her legs and allow him to put his penis in her. And how does how does she make all this money? I've never understood it. Why does the government think because they were married that she's entitled to half of what he earned that he worked his whole life for? 45:57 Because it started when he was four years old, five years old, like becoming a football player. I mean he's grinded for the past 25 years probably to get to where he's at and for her to like do nothing and just have a pretty vagina, pretty face, nice tits and just allow him to bust in her and have a couple kids. 46:15 Like I don't even, I actually I don't even know if she's pregnant with any of his kids or had any of his kids. How how does that make sense to me? It just seems real dumb to me. 46:22 Speaker 2 Well, so it has to be, there has to be a kid involved. Has to be. There's no way they're going to give her that much if there's not a kid involved. Because if there's a kid involved, what they say is the child is accustomed to a certain level of living, right? So, and which I think is ridiculous to say, oh, the child's accustomed to a certain level of living. 46:41 Therefore, Brandon, you have to give her $50,000 a month, which do the math, that's $600,000 a year, right? 46:49 Speaker 1 The kid, the kid the kid is 8 months old. It does not know a lifestyle that. 46:53 Speaker 2 I, I know I and I don't agree with it either because I think it's one of those where if you get divorced, you should not encourage divorce. You should not encourage these women to do this. But when this woman gets this in a divorce settlement, every girl out there that is banging an NFL player, an NBA player, Major League Baseball player that's making that kind of money, you got to know they're all going. 47:16 The grass is greener, right? Because I can leave Tyreke and now I still got all the money. I get the mansion, I get everything I want and I get the baby because he's obviously not going to take care of it. He's a football player, so him not getting a prenup is the dumbest thing I've ever heard, and he kind of deserves what he got. 47:34 But the system is flawed when you have that happening because there's no reason. There's no baby on earth, and I'm sorry if you don't agree with it. There's no baby on earth that's worth more than $150,000 a year to take care of it. It's not. It's not that's that's a good living for a kid that is a good home, that is a good stable upbringing. 47:51 Yes, they might have to go to private or a public school. Yes, they might not get freaking all the, you know, trainers and whatever if they want to be a professional athlete one day. But if you give her the scroll, what do what do you think she's going to do when she gets in that mansion? She's got all that money. What is she going to do? 48:04 Speaker 1 Laying there and play with her pussy all day. Let other dudes come nail her. OK dude, so she's going to do. 48:09 Speaker 2 See, I he's. 48:10 Speaker 1 Going to get pregnant by another NFL or NBA player because they know, oh, she's that class and she's going to, she's going to marry them and collect another check. That's what they do. That's all. That's what they do. They're professionals at it. 48:21 Speaker 2 See, I don't think they're going to do it. I don't think she'll do it. I don't think she's going to roll the dice in another one of those. I think now she'll actually go for a guy that she cares about or she likes because my guess, she's probably not even into black dudes. She just said, hey, there's she's like this, this. Could you imagine like if you right now, if you were a guy and you met her on the street and she's smoking hot and you see her kid and you're like, oh, she has a kid. 48:42 She's like, hey, it's cool. I know you don't care about kids. 48:42 She's like, hey, it's cool. I know you don't care about kids. You don't like kids. Me neither. But he's just a pawn in this whole thing. Do you want to come back to my place or I'll pick you up tonight? My Maserati. You're going Maserati. And then you start dating her and she's like, I can buy you anything, you can come stay with me in my mansion, blah, blah, blah. 48:59 Would you do it? 49:01 Speaker 1 I I got I got yes but I got a question to ask if I were to get her pregnant would she have to pay me child support because she makes more money than me off Tyreek Hill's money? 49:09 Speaker 2 No, she'd just keep the. 49:10 Speaker 1 Kid so I wouldn't have to pay anything though. 49:13 Speaker 2 You'd probably have to pay. She makes 4 wages off the wages off the wages you make. You'd have to pay child support. 49:19 Speaker 1 They, they, they don't do it like that, right? Whoever makes the most money is who pays. You know, if the mother happens to make more money than the father, she keeps the kid. I don't think the father has to pay child support, right? Because the mother makes enough money to pay for it. 49:33 Speaker 2 It depends. I think if the father is the primary caregiver, because if the father was the one babysitting the kid or watching the kid while she was working, then you have to pay childcare. So you'd have to pay to replace you as the child caregiver. So that would be somebody. I mean, now you're looking to what, a couple grand a month you'd have to pay. 49:50 But I mean, in the grand scheme of things, the system is ridiculous. And for anybody, I don't care if it's Tyree Kill or not, that's just stupid. Owen Wilson Stupid. The whole thing is stupid. 50:00 Speaker 1 Get a prenup because these bitches are playing the loan game, man. They're playing the loan game and they will fuck you as soon as they realize like literally fuck you as soon as they realize you got money. They would do anything they can to get a kid in them, get you married and then divorce you. That's. 50:13 Speaker 2 Just what they do. 50:14 Speaker 1 It's just their game they play. Can't fault them for it because they can't make their own money. I'm just kidding. I shouldn't have said that, but Chuck knows it. Look at that. 50:23 Speaker 2 I'm not saying. 50:25 Billionaire's Trophy and Show Growth Updates Anything all right? Up next Polish millionaire CEO responds. So we we all saw the video the other day of the CEO who snatched a hat for the child at the on TV at the US Open. You saw that, right? 50:37 Speaker 2 Charles, what a terrible human being. 50:40 Speaker 1 He he comes off I'm, I'm a little conflicted on this. He comes off saying, yes, I took it, yes, I did it quickly. But I've always said life, life is first come first served. If you were faster, you would have it. I remind you that insulting a public figure is subject to legal liability. 50:57 All offense, comments, slander, and insinuations will be analyzed for the possibility of taking the matter to court. So essentially, he's not not sad about it at all. And you know, I'm a little torn on this. 51:12 The, the kid in the video, he clearly has already some, some memorabilia. It's like a big tennis ball and all the pros have signed it and everything. They signed it, they gave it to them. They do it for all the kids. Then then you see the, the, the, the tennis player hand the hat up and the CEO grabs it. 51:28 It's a signed hat. He takes it at first you're like, oh, look at that little kid. Oh, poor guy. He didn't get the hat. But what I'm thinking of, can this kid really appreciate that hat, understand the meaning of it? Probably not. Can a billionaire who understands the meaning of it and wants to put it in his collection really understand the meaning of it and make the value of it even worth more? 51:47 Because if a billionaire has a hat and it's signed by a person and they frame it and they talk about it, it's going to be worth more than an 8 year old who wears it and slobbers on it all day. All right, So part of me was like, yeah, you shouldn't probably take it from the kid, but the kid already had something, already had memorabilia, and the kids not going to remember a lot of it, you know, I mean, they're not going to give a shit about it. 52:06 He's going to get that ball. He's going to put it in the corner of his room, and he's never going to remember it again. But this billionaire is going to put this hat in some kind of case at his $1,000,000 mansion, and he's going to show all his rich friends and all these other people, and it's going to be worth a lot more. Is it kind of how I was thinking about it? 52:20 Speaker 2 I totally disagree with you. 52:20 Speaker 2 I totally disagree with you. I think that when a kid, this is my thing, right? Like when you go to Major League Baseball games, you go to anything like that and a foul ball gets hit or the ball boy tosses a ball into the audience or the fans or whatever. If you're an adult and you keep that ball, you're an idiot. 52:40 Because a kid to a kid, that moment is something that resonates with them for the rest of their life. And I know, like, what is it? James McCann, He was a catcher for the Orioles and then he was a catcher for the Braves. 52:53 Speaker 1 Ryan McCann. 52:54 Speaker 2 Is that the one I'm thinking of? 52:56 Speaker 1 Ryan McCann. 52:56 Speaker 2 Ryan McCann, he, he was a catcher for the Orioles, catcher for the Braves. So he was playing, he, he was playing for the stripers, the Gwinnett Stripers. And my son, huge Orioles fan. So he sees them and he's in the, the bullpen. Pitchers are thrown into him. My, my kids just watching him, watching him, he's like, when do I do it? When do I do it? And I was like, what are you gonna do? 53:12 He's like, I'm gonna ask him for an autograph. And I was like, ah, it's probably not gonna happen, buddy. I mean, he's actually working right now. So the pictures all get done. McCann gets ready to walk out. My kid goes, hey, hey, McCann, McCann, can you sign this ball? And he goes, I don't have a Sharpie on me. And my kid had a pen and a ball, and he tosses them down to him and McCann signs them and he throws them back up to it. 53:33 Dude, to this day, Carter's got that ball right next to his bed, and he thinks it's the biggest deal on earth. Now granted I'm not a tennis fan so I don't really understand this kids thinking. I don't know if that's how he feels but either way if you're a billionaire guess what dude, buy the whole program. 53:50 Buy buy whatever you want. Don't do it. Don't take away from a kid. 53:53 Speaker 1 That that's the thing about it, though, is like I said, So what if what if Carter had a foul ball already and another ball got hit in the stands and a a dad next to it took it? You know, maybe he's got a kid, he's going to give it to him later. You. 54:03 Speaker 2 Don't. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, that's great. That's great. 54:06 Speaker 1 To me, I think a foul ball or in that scenario, like the monetary value is 0. But for the kid, it's everything like, Oh my God, my player was at the Gwinnett Strippers. He's, you know, warming up like that ball is worth less than probably, you know, what it was to buy a brand new ball, you know? 54:20 Speaker 2 What I mean, yeah. 54:21 Speaker 1 Nothing. But when it comes to this scenario where it's a signed hat from AI, think it was a very professional, you know, high up tennis player. It's kind of like. 54:31 Speaker 2 Yeah. 54:31 Speaker 1 Maybe the kid can't appreciate to its full aspect, you know, and I mean, like I said, if if the kid didn't already have something else major, like I said, he had a big ass oversized tennis ball. They look like the size of you know, like a a a bigger basketball or something like or a or a beach blow up volleyball is what it looked like and it had all the players sign it. 54:51 I think that's a good memorabilia for the kid to have. Now for the hat. I think it was a game worn hat for them to sign it and pass it off. I don't know, I just maybe you know, maybe it's not the best look for a billionaire to snatch it, but maybe this dude is a really big fan and he likes it and he can appreciate it more. 55:07 Speaker 2 But he can buy it. 55:08 Speaker 1 If the kid didn't have anything, I think it would have been different, but the kid already had plenty of memorabilia that he had there at the setting. Now personally, me, I wouldn't do it. First off, I don't give a shit about tennis, so I don't know anything about it. Baseball, I would definitely give the ball away to a kid, I don't give a fuck. 55:24 That's just something else I got to carry in my pocket. That means nothing to me, but to a kid it'd be like, Oh my God, I got a home run ball or I got a foul ball. Cool, whatever. But maybe. I mean, I don't know what the worth is on this, on this, on this item. Maybe, maybe it's worth a lot. Maybe it's a $250,000 item. 55:41 I have stop. 55:42 Speaker 2 Stop, stop. You know, it's not worth anything. I don't care if it's signed by Andre Agassi. Agassi. Is that how you say it? Agassi. Exactly. He was a good player back in the day. He's the only player I know. Because I don't care about tennis either. I think tennis is kind of say it gay. 55:57 Yeah, but I I just. But but some there's some players, I guess it like, not Rafi on the doll. I guarantee his stuff's expensive. 56:05 Speaker 1 I think it was. 56:07 Speaker 2 Now what if you're talking about this? Is this is a big one, Cristiano Ronaldo? Is it Cristiano or Christian? 56:14 Speaker 1 Cristiano Ronaldo, we got the same birthday, I know. 56:16 Speaker 2 OK, all right. If he kicked a game-winning goal and say a World Cup, took the ball and autographed it and went to hand it to the audience and this happened, how do you feel about it? 56:32 Speaker 1 I I think it's all every man for themselves honestly. 56:35 Speaker 2 Right. You're a jerk, man. 56:37 Speaker 1 It is, I mean, it's like it's it's like, like you said, it goes back to the kids not going to appreciate it. You know, they're going to probably play with it in the backyard. They're not going to put it in a state, a glass case. You know, give them give them the the game ball they started the second-half with. It means just as much to the kid because they don't understand what it means. 56:53 You know, I mean, like the the ball that started the second-half. Give that to him, have him sign that. Give that to him, to the kid and to the kid. They think it's exactly the same, but they don't understand that this is the game-winning ball in the 2017 MLS, you know, World Series Cup. They won the game, you know, World is. 57:08 Speaker 2 That it's called World Series Cup. 57:10 Speaker 1 MLS Cup, World Series, same thing. I don't know. Tara is about to get on her ass, I know that. But but out so. 57:17 Speaker 2 I mean, he hits. If Cristiano Ronaldo hits a home run from third base, I mean, it's going crazy. 57:24 Speaker 1 Dude, especially on 3rd down, it's going to be a warning. Just hit. Don't matter, don't matter. National anthem's about to come on. It's crazy. So, well, that was daily dose of dumb news. I'm going to let Chuck tell you about how you can listen to us and all that other shit while I piss real quick. 57:42 Speaker 2 Oh, man, and we're getting ready to go into what the Chuck and he's got to do that. So hey you. 57:45 Speaker 1 Before that. 57:46 Speaker 2 You guys, you guys know, we appreciate the Patreon. 57:46 Speaker 2 You guys, you guys know, we appreciate the Patreon. Make sure you guys check out the Patreon link. It's on our stuff and go to the website dailydoseshow.com and check all that out. All the money you guys give us goes to advertising for the show, but now it's also funding. 58:03 Damn, that's scary. All right, so we're going to pay for the gas, the lodging, whatever. We've already used it once. We love that. We really do appreciate it. Makes it much easier for us to do that. If you're listening to this, you're listening to this on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and now YouTube because Brandon is slowly putting up the episodes. 58:18 I think he's got 4 up right now, which is actually kind of sad because he's been working at it for a week. But as you guys know, Brandon only works as fast as Brandon wants to work. But we are going to get all those on YouTube. So please make sure you guys start sharing those. It's really going to help the show. It's going to help us grow, especially for the YouTube audience, which is completely different from the Spotify audience is what we found. 58:37 And I think a lot of older people don't know how to get to Spotify. That's what I'm I'm picking up, but you guys will see it under the Clueless 2 page, which has about 40 something to subscribe 40,000 something to 40,000 subscribers on YouTube. You guys can get, you know, send the link out, help us out, get us some listings on that and we appreciate it because without you guys, we probably wouldn't do this anymore. 59:00 I mean, if we lost like 1 listener, we'd probably just hang it up. That's what I'm thinking. But anyway. Oh, hey, Brandon, good to see you again. 59:05 Speaker 1 Oh yeah, hang yourself. Yeah, I think about that too. 59:05 Speaker 1 Oh yeah, hang yourself. Yeah, I think about that too. That's what you're talking about. 59:08 Speaker 2 No. 59:10 Speaker 1 Well, like I said, we do appreciate y'all listening to us wherever Chuck told you to listen to us and we'll go ahead and get into. 59:15 Extreme Sacrifices for Podcast Listener Goals What the Chuck? What the? 59:19 Speaker 1 Chuck Yeah. You want to Chuck me? Chuck you real hard. Chuck me. Chuck me. Chuck me. Chuck me. 59:25 Speaker 2 I'm full of Chuck. Oh Chuck, Chuck it real good. What the Chuck DJ and vision. All right, dude, I know sometimes during what the Chuck you like to use your words and sometimes, especially with this whole YouTube thing, it makes it difficult because when you are thinking, you often will throw out vulgarities. 59:50 You'll just be like FS. So, so I'm giving you a word counter today. I'm going to ask you a question and you have to answer in five words or less. Your entire answer has to be in five words or less. 1:00:05 OK. All right. Many, many days ago, weeks, months ago, you said to me your goal was to have 100,000 daily listeners to the show. So I'm going to give you 4 scenarios and you're going to simply, in five words or less, answer if you would do these things to ensure 100,000 listeners a day. 1:00:33 I want to see how important it is to you. OK, All right. For 100,000 listeners a day, would you bang a Midget while chugging A2 liter of Doctor Pepper and getting your head shaved? 1:00:49 Speaker 1 Can I ask questions? 1:00:52 Speaker 2 Questions is one word. 1:00:55 Speaker 1 You idiot syllables, you're. 1:00:58 Speaker 2 So. 1:00:59 Speaker 1 Stupid. Is it a? 1:01:00 Speaker 2 Female Midget. Yo, you're not allowed. Is five female Midget OK? Yeah. OK so your 5 words will be your one question and then you have to say yes or no. OK OK You're saying yes without even notice. 1:01:18 A female Midget? No, you're killing me dude. Yes, it's a female Midget. Now what is your answer? Yes. OK so you would for 100,000 listeners a day bang a Midget while chugging A2 liter doctor Pepper and getting your head shaved at the same time? 1:01:37 Speaker 1 I do it for five. 1:01:45 Speaker 2 OK. Oh my God. OK, all right, here we go. Next one. And dude, you only got 5 words. You can't say 5 words five times. It doesn't count. You only do. 1:01:55 Speaker 1 Have 5 words or not? 1:01:57 Speaker 2 You get one question of up to 5 words and then you have to give me your answer. 1:02:01 Speaker 1 OK. 1:02:02 Speaker 2 All right, would you for 100,000 daily listeners, RIP out your toenails while getting your balls waxed eating 23 jalapeno Peppers? 1:02:18 Speaker 1 Your face is so stupid, who is jacking me off? 1:02:26 Speaker 2 Who is jacking? Oh, it's good. Good job. I didn't say anybody was jacking you off. I said they're waxing your balls now. What is your answer? 1:02:38 Speaker 1 Yes, I'm going to say waxing me off, not jacking. 1:02:45 Speaker 2 Me off. You didn't even know your questions are dumb. OK, next one. This one's good. This one's good. All right. For 100,000 daily listeners, would you play nude Marco Polo in an old folks home while erasing all of the nudes off of your phone that XS have sent you and sexting a man? 1:03:15 Speaker 1 What? 1:03:20 Speaker 2 OK, you still have 4 used to live 4 words. So you would be playing nude Marco Polo in an old folks home at the same time you'd be on your phone deleting all of the nudes exes have sent you in the past and also sexting with a man. 1:03:38 So you know, sexting. Like making love through texts? 4/4 or 4 words left. Cute man only two words used. 1:03:54 OK 2 words used. No, he's morbidly obese. Small Weiner. 1:04:09 Tiny Weiner. Yes, these. I thought at least one of these would get you OK. Last one so far. 1:04:25 So far you are committed to success and I love that about you. All right, here we go. Hold on. I got to make sure I. OK, here we go. Last one and arguably the hardest one for 100,000 daily listeners, would you go one year of abstinence, meaning no sexual activity with a woman? 1:04:49 Or now that I know it's a problem with you yourself drink 0 alcohol and you can only watch tennis for the entire year. So one year, no love making with anyone or yourself, no alcohol and you can only watch tennis for entertainment for 100,000 daily listeners. 1:05:16 Speaker 1 Can I just hang myself? 1:05:22 Speaker 2 That is not an option. No. All right, all right, so there you have it Brandon. It's like meatloaf once said I would do anything for love, IE what I won't do one 100,000 listeners I. 1:05:42 Speaker 1 Won't do that in five words, but I won't do that. 1:05:46 Speaker 2 But I won't do that. Hey, that's crazy. That's cool. What that you know what, that's what I'm going to call this, this segment it's going to call, but I won't do that. 1:05:56 The Science of Lust and Life's Regrets No, post nut clarity is a real thing men need to have. You know, you get horny and it just clouds your, your, your conscience or your mind and then she's got to whack off. She's got to get it out the way. 1:06:06 Speaker 2 Why are you so obsessed with masturbation right now? Not. 1:06:09 Speaker 1 Obsessed with it. It's just the fact of the human body that you've got to get it out of the way if you want to get past things. Like every time I think I need a girlfriend, like I'm like, man, I wish I had someone to love. I just whack off. Like fuck that motherfucker. I just need money, bitch. Success and money. I don't even know what. Oh, because. 1:06:24 Speaker 2 You're just going to take care of it yourself. 1:06:26 Speaker 1 Yeah, because I think I need a girlfriend and I'm like, I think I'm just horny and I just whack off. I'm like hell, I need no girlfriend. What the fuck would I use? 1:06:34 Speaker 2 That's the crazy thing about the male body and I will say that I've this is something that I've never understood and I don't and people that are listening, maybe you can enlighten me. Have you ever understood why a man his brain before you have sex with somebody or before you involved in any intimacy you can? 1:06:57 All you think about is that act and how hot this girl is, or how sexy this girl is or how much you want her, but as soon as you finish, you no longer feel that way. 1:07:09 Speaker 1 Post nut clarity, it's a real thing. It's a scientific thing. Look it up. Post nut clarity. It'll tell you the exact same thing. That's what it is. Because your, your mind's just so clouded with the lust. And then once you get done with it, you're like, that wasn't the fucking greatest thing in the world, you know, like this just now. 1:07:25 Now I have regret. Like, Oh my God, I get this girl pregnant. She's already got two kids or she smells weird or she lives in a fucking poor neighborhood. Like what the fuck am I doing? You know, she smells like menthols. Like I don't want my kid growing up smelling like menthols. I can't live with a house that smells like menthols either. Fuck that. 1:07:40 Speaker 2 I, I remember, I remember one time, and I guess that's, if you're going to call it that, that's what I had. I, I was like 20 years old and I was living in California. I went to this bar, it was a club, it was like a nightclub or whatever. And I met this chick and dude, she was older, she was probably in her 30s or whatever. 1:07:58 And I took her home and I'll never forget. I'd never seen, but no, I had never seen a woman that had a baby. And I didn't know what stretch marks were and like, and like all that. 1:08:14 And so I'm like kissing her and we're like making out and stuff. And she takes her clothes off and I like, you know, because especially at that age, it's like, OK, we're leaving the lights on. You know, I look good. You know, I look really good. And I remember I looked at her belly and I thought she had like something wrong. Like I thought she had a disease. 1:08:30 I didn't know. I didn't know what it was. And, and I remember I was so worked up and so into it. I was like, yeah, she's probably got some disease and I'm probably going to catch it, but whatever, man. I'm rolling the dice on this one. And I remember we finished and then I was so disgusted by myself because I didn't, I didn't know any better. 1:08:51 I didn't know anything about that. I didn't know how women's bodies change. And now it's funny because I look back on that situation at the age I am now and I'm like, it wasn't that bad. I mean, to me now it's like, you know, I've dated. 1:09:04 Speaker 1 I just turned the lights off now. 1:09:05 Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. But but back then, you know, so anyway, that was my that was the biggest post clarity that I had. But it's. 1:09:14 Speaker 1 Real, it's true. People know it, people. People will bring that up for sure because it's it's a real thing. You know, you get horny and you're like, man, I just want to bang something. You whack off. You're like, all right, back to work, back to work. I don't need. 1:09:25 Speaker 2 That idea, I don't need that prostitute. 1:09:27 Speaker 1 Anymore I don't need that. I don't need that, no. Yeah, so we appreciate you listening to us. If you heard all this nonsense, you're on Apple Podcast, Spotify or iHeartRadio, please leave us a five star review and a follow up. We got the Patreon down below. We use that for paid advertising for the show. 1:09:42 The show you're listening to free, we want to get more people to listen to it because it's a great product and a lot everyone that does listen to it tells us they love it so much. So we just got to get it in front of more eyes and ears. The the YouTube videos are going up about a couple a day on the Clueless 2 channel we already had. 1:09:57 We're at 45,000 followers or subscribers now, so it's going good. Michael Germany is doing a great job with the thumbnails. They're they're freaking awesome. They're hilarious. I can't wait. And for every time he sends this new batch, I'm so excited for it. He's got a new Taliban cowboy poster. 1:10:14 He's working on that. Like I said, we got, we got Savannah Cannon's birthday today. Thanks for listening. Appreciate it. And then yeah, def August and witch at Ted down in Puerto Rico. We will check in with them tomorrow and see if they're still alive. I'm I'm hoping they are. I believe August's birthday is the 4th, 3rd is the 4th. 1:10:32 I don't know it'll show you on Facebook, but wish him a happy birthday before he died with his gay ginger Puerto Rican man. You got anything before we get on out of here? 1:10:42 Speaker 2 Nah, man, I'm going to be a weird creepy coach for one more practice on Thursday and then my life's back to normal. Unless. Unless Michigan, unless Megan left me because she is in the Outer Banks and she says she's with her family. Wouldn't that be crazy if she was with another dude? Oh. 1:10:55 Speaker 1 That'd be wild. And what you need to do is go ahead and get that post nut clarity out of you before you go coach again. All right, we'll see you. Bye.